Blasts from the Pasts for August - Nick Arcade

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This is what someone on youtube claims is the first barbie commercial ever. The only thing that has changed about them is that they are slightly more politically correct now.

"Someday I'm gonna be exactly like you . . . I'll make believe that I am you . . ."

Hmm....

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Anybody remember this show?




Poor Nadine.

When I Am an Old Man...

When I am an old man, if I make it that far, I will have long stretchy earlobes. They will look like squeezed play'doh.


When I am an old man, I will be very wrinkly, and I will wear hats that I think look really good, but are actually ridiculous.


When I am an old man, I will complain about how the newspaper comics aren't as funny as they used to be.


When I am an old man, I will eat cereal that is high in fiber, and think it is delicious.


When I am an old man, I will get really excited when I find a coupon for the cereal that is high in fiber.



When I am an old man, I will forget to zip up my pants at least once every other day.



When I am an old man, my wife will say something to me, and I will hear her, but say "What?" anyway, just so I have more time to think of the answer.


When I am an old man, my wife will say something to me, I won't understand her and say "What?" She will repeat herself, and then I won't understand what she said again. But because I hate to keep asking her to repeat herself, I will just say, "I don't know," and hope it wasn't important.



When I am an old man, I will buy a mailbox shaped like a goose.



When I am an old man, I will have several mugs given to me as gifts, but none of them will be used for drinking. They will all be on different desktops, filled with ballpoint pens that have the name of a medication on them.



When I am an old man, I will find myself using one of these:

And I will drive one of these:

Except mine will probably hover because it will be in the second half of the century.

When I am an old man, I will have one of these around my neck:

And it will save my life.

And so I will go on commercials . . .

And help other people.

Except by this time these things will become commonplace instead:

Right now these cost about $65,000, but by the time I need one, it will be mass produced.

And it will hover.

When I am an old man, I will sit on a bench in the park and examine my fingers. Meanwhile, a passing parent will tell her child, "Look, son. It is an old man. Sit and talk to him. He is full of wisdom and experience."
Then the small boy will come and sit by me and say, "Hey, you're old. Tell me a story."
And I will continue looking at my fingers, and then I will say, "Yesterday the grocery store raised the price on the wheat bread ten cents. Now I have to use less toilet paper to make up for the difference."
And the boy will leave, with more wisdom.

When I am an old man, I will sit with my old wife, and we will watch Game Show Network. And we will call the people on Family Feud "idiots" when they make stupid guesses for "things you find in a glove compartment." And during the commercials, we will compare the moles and liver spots on our arms.

When I am an old man, I will eat my fat free, sugar free ice cream bar, and let my old dog lick the stick after I am done. But I will make sure I leave some ice cream on it for her to enjoy. Then the dog will lick my feet.

But when I am an old man, it won't bother me that I am old. It won't bother me that I may not have much more that I can do before I am done. But I will be content. Because I lived my life the way I was supposed to. I did what I could. I passed something on to the next generation.

And when I am an old man, it won't bother me that my wife doesn't look like she did when she was twenty-four. Because she will look like home. And when I hold her, she will feel like home. When I talk to her, she will sound like home. She will be so much a part of me, that I will never stop believing she is the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth.

Even when she is an old woman, and I am an old man.

When I am an old man, God will be more real to me than ever. God will make more sense to me than ever. We will be old pals that understand each other. We will be ready for each other.

Because I'm not ready now. I get to spend eternity in heaven. I only get a few years on earth. I want to do as much as I can here while I can.

And when I am an old man, I will most definitely probably look like this: