the boy will learn from someone

I was talking to my friend Nicole tonight about how kids are being raised in this society.

Before you think, "Boy, that's all easy for him to say--he hasn't raised kids yet! Who's he to talk?" Just hear me out. I want to challenge our generation. I am in no way saying parenting is easy. And I have observed many things, including things my parents did.

I think you can probably figure out the details of what is disturbing me from just a simple story from working at Cici's:

Over a year ago, one day I was cleaning tables and junk, and I noticed a mother eating with her little boy. The woman was on her cell phone the entire meal. The boy ate virtually by himself. It was so nice of this mother to spend good quality time with her son, right? Oh yes.

It made my stomach turn inside out. I wanted to take her cell phone and send it through the conveyor belt pizza oven.

We need a refreshed generation of parents. I know there are many great parents out there, but I think we are slacking.

And I'm not talking about rules and spankings, necessarily.

I'm talking about effort.

There are many great ways to rear a kid good. But it takes work.

We need parents that are willing to invest in their kids' lives more than other crap.

Because the boy will learn from someone.

The boy will learn how to make conversation.

The boy will learn how to make friends.

The boy will learn how to interact.

The boy will learn how to have relationships.

The boy will learn what to do with his body.

The boy will learn how to treat women.

The boy will learn how to treat men.

The boy will learn how to treat you.

The boy will learn from someone.

The question isn't whether or not the boy will learn it all.

The question is who will the boy learn it all from?

"You have a rainbow in your mouth, open it for the world!"

I become more satisfied.

Then I turn around and become even less satisfied.

And then I find things to be satisfied about.

Yet, I am still unsatisfied.

I have discovered the paradox of being completely satisfied yet unsatisfied at the same time.

And I know what to do. I keep going. I keep walking on the water. When the winds and waves throw themselves at me I keep going.

Even though I can't see what is coming.

And I really want to know what is coming.

But I have something in myself and I need to figure out how to make the best of it. Tonight on "King of the Hill," Bill was trying to convince Kahn to return to his karaoke singing, and he said "You have a rainbow in your mouth, open it for the world."

What is the best way I can do this? And why do I keep asking myself questions I know the answers to?

I guess sometimes I get the illusion that if I didn't know the answers, then I wouldn't be so bothered...

protecting crunches and protecting from crunches

I ate cereal for breakfast yesterday at about 12:00 or so. It was a really good cereal, Muffintops that I got from Wal-mart in Marietta for 50 cents. AMAZING DEAL!




Well, yesterday they got soggy fast. Man, that's frustrating.

But it turns out someone else was frustrated in the same way I was. Take a look at something that received its U.S. patent in 1991:

It's called a "Crunch Protector." You keep the dry cereal separated from the milk until you are ready to eat it. You fill the base (21) with sand to counter the weight correctly so it doesn't tip. I'm not kidding, this is really patented.

It really doesn't look that convenient to me. I wondered how much such a contraption would cost someone. I looked it up online several places. Did not find the crunch protector (seems like something I could find at Ollie's though). But I did find this on Google:

This dome has arched crossbars sturdy enough to support an adult's weight. It's called the "Baby Cage." This lets baby sleep in bed with mommy and daddy without the risk of being crushed. This just seems like a terrible idea to me. I looked up to see if this was purchasable either.

This is the closest thing I found:

What a wonderful thing the internet is.

Tony Shalhoub as Bennett

Ever have a moment in life, where you stop and say, "Now this would be a good scene in a movie?"

I noticed those moments usually happen during times when:

a) the television is not on.
b) i am at wal-mart.

i think Wal-Mart would be an excellent place for a movie scene, at least if it were a movie about me. If it were about me, the turning point of the film would be there. I would have some great revelation that would provide the solution to a great problem I was in the middle of while looking at different kinds of masking tape. Then a song by Penguin Cafe Orchestra would play as I heroically run out of the store through the parking lot and off somewhere to save the day. I would be wearing a brown shirt, with my brown converse sneakers and blue jeans. My part would be played by Tony Shalhoub.

But anyway, enough with that hypothetical situation. The moral I learn from the previous revelation about television is this:

If most of a person's spare time is spent watching TV, then his or her life will probably not be inspirational enough for anyone to want to make a movie about it. And everyone lives expecting to have a movie made about their life.

Because that is our generation's idea of immortality.